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Goal Setting

Secrets Of A Positive Attitude

Greetings self help reader, are you constantly bombarded by thoughts of negativity? Plagued by feelings of insecurity? Do you see everything in a negative manner? The reason for this lies deep within your heart. You are what you mentally and spiritually eat. If a person drinks alchohol on a daily basis, odds are their body will be affected in some way. They may have liver issues, develop cancer or incur some other type of health problem directly related to the amount of alcohol they have consumed. In the same way, a person who constantly feeds themselves negative thoughts will simply turn into a negative person.

This is the time to go on a diet. A diet of positive attitude food. You have to literally stop feeding your mind negative things. Ask yourself is this thought negative or positive or negative? What do negative thoughts look like? Well, they start with can’t rather than can, no as opposed to yes, will and not won’t. The Bible which is the greatest self help book ever written, speaks about taking every thought captive. The problem in our society has become that our thoughts have taken us captive. We have begun to let our thoughts control us.

A great way to know what we are negative about is to ask those people who are closest to us. You can ask your spouse or another person in your life who really knows you how they would rate your attitude on a scale of 1 to 10. 10 being super positive and 1 super negative. Ask this person to be totally honest with you. You will benefit from their honesty even if it causes  you pain. Ask this person what it is that you specifically say that they perceive as negative. Write down what they say and look at the actual words. Now is the time to be honest with yourself. Those words are a reflection of what is inside you. They are who you are. The great thing is that you can change. It is as simple as making a choice to do so. You must decide to replace the thoughts of negativity with thoughts of positivity. Decide what words you will change the negative words on your paper to. Once you have done this, make an effort to insert these new positive thoughts in your mind. You will begin to notice a positive change taking place in your life. Your family, friends and co-workers will all notice it as well. They may not know what is different about you. But they will know that you are not the same person that you were.

The items which are causing negativity in your life could very well be the news, movies, constantly replaying tragedy in your mind and the list could go on. These things should be eliminated if you want your new mental health regimen to be a success. The news is very negative and does not help someone who is trying to rid their mind of such thoughts. When you are feeding yourself thoughts of death from a war or gunshot or car accident visually the outcome will be negative. I do believe there is a time to grieve over the death of a loved one. However, if a person constantly replays this negative event in their minds it can lead to depression. The person who has passed away is not coming back and we must close that chapter in our lives and move on to the next chapter. This is a difficult task which can only be done by making a decision to proceed with our own life, no matter how hard this may be.

You can do it. You can and will have a positive attitude, if you simply take the steps outlined above. You do not have to be what you were in the past. You can be different in the future. The choice is yours. I know you will make a positive one.

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Goal Setting

Build Your Self Esteem – A Starter Guide To Self Improvement

Imagine yourself as a Dart Board. Everything and everyone else around you may become Dart Pins, at one point or another. These dart pins will destroy your self esteem and pull you down in ways you won’t even remember. Don’t let them destroy you, or get the best of you. So which dart pins should you avoid?

Dart Pin #1 : Negative Work Environment

Beware of “dog eat dog” theory where everyone else is fighting just to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people usually thrive. No one will appreciate your contributions even if you miss lunch and dinner, and stay up late. Most of the time you get to work too much without getting help from people concerned. Stay out of this, it will ruin your self esteem. Competition is at stake anywhere. Be healthy enough to compete, but in a healthy competition that is.

Dart Pin #2: Other People’s Behavior

Bulldozers, brown nosers, gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers, snipers, people walking wounded, controllers, naggers, complainers, exploders, patronizers, sluffers, all these kinds of people will pose bad vibes for your self esteem, as well as to your self improvement scheme.

Dart Pin #3: Changing Environment

You can’t be a green bug on a brown field. Changes challenge our paradigms. It tests our flexibility, adaptability and alters the way we think. Changes will make life difficult for awhile, it may cause stress but it will help us find ways to improve our selves. Change will be there forever, we must be susceptible to it.

Dart Pin #4: Past Experience

It’s okay to cry and say “Ouch!” when we experience pain. But don’t let pain transform itself into fear. It might grab you by the tail and swing you around. Treat each failure and mistake as a lesson.

Dart Pin #5: Negative World View

Look at what you’re looking at. Don’t wrap yourself up with all the negativities of the world. In building self esteem, we must learn how to make the best out of worst situations.

Dart Pin #6: Determination Theory

The way you are and your behavioral traits is said to be a mixed end product of your inherited traits (genetics), your upbringing (psychic), and your environmental surroundings such as your spouse, the company, the economy or your circle of friends. You have your own identity. If your father is a failure, it doesn’t mean you have to be a failure too. Learn from other people’s experience, so you’ll never have to encounter the same mistakes.

Sometimes, you may want to wonder if some people are born leaders or positive thinkers. NO. Being positive, and staying positive is a choice. Building self esteem and drawing lines for self improvement is a choice, not a rule or a talent. God wouldn’t come down from heaven and tell you “George, you may now have the permission to build self esteem and improve your self.”

In life, its hard to stay tough specially when things and people around you keep pulling you down. When we get to the battle field, we should choose the right luggage to bring and armors to use, and pick those that are bullet proof. Life’s options give us arrays of more options. Along the battle, we will get hit and bruised. And wearing a bullet proof armor ideally means “self change”. The kind of change which comes from within. Voluntarily. Armor or Self Change changes 3 things: our attitude, our behavior and our way of thinking.

Building self esteem will eventually lead to self improvement if we start to become responsible for who we are, what we have and what we do. Its like a flame that should gradually spread like a brush fire from inside and out. When we develop self esteem, we take control of our mission, values and discipline. Self esteem brings about self improvement, true assessment, and determination. So how do you start putting up the building blocks of self esteem? Be positive. Be contented and happy. Be appreciative. Never miss an opportunity to compliment. A positive way of living will help you build self esteem, your starter guide to self improvement.

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Building Self Esteem

A Guide To Hypnosis

There are many stories about hypnosis and hypnotherapy being dangerous, turning people into chickens, people not being able to wake up, and unscrupulous hypnotists exploiting their ‘vulnerable’ patients. However there are many people who are adamant that it has helped change their lives, helping them succeed in their goals. Millions of people swear that it has helped them with many issues such as weight loss, quitting smoking, other addictions, confidence, phobias, stress, success, IBS, and many more issues.

Many people are missing out on this powerful yet safe therapeutic tool because they are too afraid to use it. I hope to dispel these fears by answering these common questions about hypnotherapy.

Can I be hypnotized? Most people can go into a hypnotic trance. The only types of people that cannot be hypnotised are … 1. Those suffering from psychosis or a thought disorder 2. A person with a low IQ 3. A person does not want to be hypnotised. It is very easy to resist hypnosis if you want to. What is a hypnotic trance? It is a normal and natural state that most of us experience several times a day. It commonly happens when people are driving. Have you ever driven somewhere and not really remembered the journey? It also often occurs when reading a book or watching TV. Sometimes you can be so absorbed in the book or TV programme that you are not consciously aware that someone is talking to you. Hypnosis is the focussing of the conscious attention in such a narrow corridor of influence. The conscious mind is so intensely focussed that other influences are not being critically analysed by the conscious mind. We still hear them, although we are not always aware. A good example of this is when you are in a place where there are several conversations going on at once. They may all sound like a mass of background noise. However if someone in one of those conversations mentions your name, you then consciously focus on that conversation. How did you know someone said your name? Your subconscious mind (which is far more powerful than your conscious mind) was listening to EVERY conversation AT THE SAME TIME! That is perhaps a reason why you can sometimes “just know” something. Your subconscious mind has absorbed it without you consciously being aware.

What does hypnosis feel like? When in a trance you feel more mentally and physically relaxed. It is a very pleasant experience, and you can tell that you are still in control. You can still hear exactly what is going on around you, unless you choose to drift your attention away. You become aware that you can easily stand up, talk, or move whenever you want. A lot of people (me included) when they first experience a hypnotic trance move their fingers or hands in order to test whether they can move at will. Sometimes a patient can be a little difficult to wake up. This is not a sinister thing as it has been portrayed. No one has ever been stuck in trance. It is more a case that a patient just “can’t be bothered” to wake up as it feels so pleasant. However they soon become bored and will wake up pretty soon. One trick the old hypnosis pro’s use is to tell the patient that they are charging for the time. It’s amazing how quickly they then wake up!

Is hypnosis dangerous? A hypnotic trance is actually a very natural state that almost everyone goes into several times per day. In 1955 the British Medical Association set up an inquiry which favourably reported hypnosis as a therapeutic tool. It even recommended that it should be taught at medical schools. Hypnosis was also approved by the Council of Mental Health of the American Medical Association in September of 1958 as a safe practice with no harmful side effects. Since then there has been acceleration in the establishment of hypnosis societies for doctors, dentists, and psychologists. No one has been seriously hurt with hypnosis.

Can I be made to do things against my will? You could never be made to do anything against your will or contrary to your value system. If this was actually possible, would there not be criminals learning the art of hypnotherapy in order to hypnotise their bank managers to opening the vaults and handing over a large sum of cash?! In a trance, you would not unknowingly reveal your deepest secrets. You can even lie when in a trance, which is one reason why testimony in hypnosis is not permissible evidence in a court of law. It is only used by police to help with the investigation. A person will only act upon suggestions that serve them in some way or reinforce an expected behaviour, anything else their subconscious will just ignore. Most people develop these misperceptions from seeing or hearing about a Stage Hypnosis show. However they largely achieve their results from showmanship, selection of the more extrovert people, and peer pressure.

How long will it take before I notice a change? In one session, you can expect to become more relaxed than you are right now. Most people do not relax enough, and some people never seem to relax! Being more relaxed can help most mental and physical problems that you may have. I have often had patients report back to me that people noticed that they seemed more relaxed after just one session. In the past I have significantly helped problems such as IBS, skin complaints, and addictions, simply by doing relaxation work. Hypnosis can bridge the gap between your head and your heart, making your goals much more emotionally compelling, and therefore increasing your chances of permanent change. Depending upon the intensity of your session and the number of times you have listened to the recording, you will notice suggestions for the desired behavioural changes spontaneously popping into your conscious mind almost immediately.

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Goal Setting

Achieving Your Goals

You may or may not have a set of written goals. If you do not, then I strongly urge you to make a written set of goals and clarify what you want to achieve. Whatever the case, you may be struggling with achieving your goals in life. In this article, you will learn some techniques for achieving your goals.

Think of a time in your life when you achieved something you really wanted. Did you doubt it would happen and believe that you could not achieve it? Or did you have a solid sense of knowing that it would happen and doubt never entered into your mind?

It was the second wasn’t it?

When Richard Branson set up Virgin Airways, did he sit in his office and wonder if it would ever work? Did Bill Gates sit in his office wondering if anyone would want to buy his Windows product? They may have done for a little while, but they did not let these doubts rule them. They knew their plans would work and that they would be successful.

When working to achieve your goals, you need that unerring sense of confidence and lack of doubt in yourself. You must Know it is going to happen and that you will succeed. We are not talking about thinking you will succeed, believing you will succeed or knowing you will achieve your goal. They are all intellectual forms of Knowing, Knowing with a capital K; that solid feeling in the pit of your stomach that you will make happen and you cannot fail. Expect it to happen and know there is no other way. It will happen. This Knowing gives you drive and commitment to see you through to the success of your goal.

But how do you get this feeling? One of the best and most effective techniques is visualisation.

You currently use the power of visualisation, probably without even realising it. Have you ever run through what you are going to say to someone before you have the conversation? Or seen yourself in your mind giving a presentation before you give it?

That is the power of visualisation, and it is very potent. You can use it not only for your goals, but for any aspect of your life. Visualisation is something most people are unused to directing. You will find initially that your attention will wander, but you have to pull it back to the task at hand. It is similar to building a muscle up through exercise – it takes time to strengthen it.

The exercise for visualising your goals is very simple, and is as follows…

1) Select the goal that you wish to work with

2) Picture an image of this goal in your mind

3) Visualise yourself attaining your goal. Use all of your senses – touch, hearing, sight, smell, and taste. Really feel your success with every fibre of your being and Know that your goal is as good as achieved.

4) Hold this image in your mind for a minimum of 10 minutes – remain focus and positive. Challenge any doubts that rise and replace them with positive words and images of success. If you get distracted or your mind wanders, bring your focus back to your goal.

You can also hold this successful image in your mind as you go about your day to day business. Keep the image there and focus on your success. You get what you focus on – and if you focus on achieving your goal, then you will get it. Visualisation is a method of programming the subconscious mind for success.

With some goals you may want to keep them private. If you are trying to get fit and your friends know you have been less than energetic in the past when you tell them your goal, they will laugh and joke and not believe you. This doubt and disbelief can affect your belief in yourself and in your goal, which in turn can lead to failure to achieve the goal.

It is hard enough to overcome our own doubts and worries without having to also overcome those of the people around you. Keep any goals where you may be influenced by others to yourself and let the people around you see the successful end result.

Affirming Success

Another method for achieving your goals is to use affirmations, which means you repeat your goal again and again to yourself. This is another method of programming your subconscious mind, which is the source of all action.

An affirmation is a sentence or two that is written in a positive language with definite targets and timescales. A bad affirmation would be “I want to lose some weight.” Your subconscious looks at this and since there is no timescale it will not leap into action. There is also no definite target so your subconscious does not know what to aim for. How is “some weight” defined? It is 10 pounds, but also 1 pound and also just 1 ounce.

A good affirmation is “I want to lose 10 pounds by the end of this year.” This sends the right messages to your subconscious. It knows that you exactly how much you have to lose (10 pounds) and when this must be done by (the end of this year). You know precisely what you have to do and when it has to be done by.

If the goal is to lose 10 pounds by the end of the year, we need an action plan to get us to this goal and to make it happen. In this case the action plan may be to reduce our chocolate intake and increase the amount of fruits and vegetables we consume. The action plan is made up of a series of milestones. For example, if there are 5 months until the end of the year then our milestones would be to lose 2 pounds each month.

Little Steps

You may have a big goal such as “To have an income in excess of £100,000 a year by the time I am 35” (notice the goal is specific in both the timescale and the amount and does not put an upper limit on your earning potential.)

This goal can be very daunting to look at, perhaps even enough for you to give up and not strive to achieve it. To overcome this, you break your goal down into a number of smaller, more manageable steps.

Any large goal can be broken down into a number of sub-goals, which can then be broken down even further if necessary. Each of the sub-goals has an associated action plan with it. Using our income goal from above, sub-goals could be to understand taxation, to understand investment, to start your own company, and so on.

Smaller goals are easier for you to handle, and help you to stay on course to your main goal. You also get the satisfaction of regularly having successes and achieving goals, which does wonders for your belief in yourself.

All of your major goals and their associated sub-goals and action plans need to be regularly reviewed – ideally daily. This ensures you remain focussed on your goals and instantly know if you start to drift away from your target. It allows you to adjust your goals and action plan according to whether things are working quicker or slower than planned. It also prevents you from repeating actions and carrying out tasks that are not necessary. It keeps the goals in the forefront of your mind, and does not allow you to forget about them.

Achieving our goals is something we all want to do, but it involves work. Rarely will they be given to us on a silver platter by a servant on bended knee. Achievement requires Knowing, drive and commitment, combined with careful and meticulous planning and a firm belief in ourselves. With unwavering belief and commitment there is nothing that you cannot achieve. Everything and anything is within your grasp – if you are willing to make the commitment to achieving it.

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Success Secrets

9 Characteristics That Millionaire Business People Have In Common

In May 2005, Forbes magazine reported that there were 691 billionaires in the world. 1400 people across the world turn into millionaires every day. Want to become one of them? Of course you do. Everyone wants the freedom to do business in the way they choose. There is so much power in running your own business – and having a business that runs itself, which for many people is the ultimate goal.

Making money is not the only goal of becoming an internet millionaire – it’s about freedom.

Many people across the world are gifted with experiencing this freedom everyday. How can you become one of these people? What kind of life, and business, do you want to run? Would you like to be able to check your email from your private plane? These are the kinds of goals many people have in mind when they begin to forge ahead with their business ideas. But the truth is that the rich and the successful – the millionaires off and online – have about nine characteristics in common, not that different from a lot of people we all know. Most of them exhibit some or all of these. The truth is that we all have the potential for greatness – if we can train ourselves to keep this in mind as we go about our business day.

1. They don’t blame. Successful businesspeople don’t blame others. Instead of making excuses for bad outcomes, or reassigning responsibility to others, they take time to learn from their own mistakes.

2. They are decisive. Millionaire-types have a vision. They take quick, decisive action aligned with that vision. They’re action oriented, always pushing forward toward their goals.

3. They trust their intuition. If something seems like it’s not quite right, they trust that instinct. If an opportunity excites them and sounds like a great idea, they go for it.

4. They are singly focused on their CORE business. Successful entrepreneurs may be inspired by ideas, but they always remain true to their vision. They focus on opportunities that are aligned with their business’s purpose. If you sell retail products on eBay, don’t try real estate investing the next day. They don’t lose focus. They may sell their products on eBay, write articles, focus on joint ventures, and go to marketing seminars, but all of their efforts, and FOCUS, help them move toward their main goals.

5. They are marketing focused. Millionaires, including such giants as Bill Gates, understand the importance of building on their core business. They hire people with specialties in marketing. They work hard at building their email lists, gaining exposure, and are constantly looking for ways to reaching a wider audience. If you want to build a decent income, you sell products and services. If you want to be insanely rich, then you create and control markets. The key to your business, and creating phenomenal success, is marketing.

6. They understand the importance of continuing education. Successful businesspeople are always learning and drawing from other people’s experiences. They listen to how other people have achieved their success, especially if these people have expertise in another industry. They are constantly learning about new approaches and strategies, and thinking about how they can apply it to their own business.

7. They are not afraid of making mistakes. Any big company online will tell you that they’ve had their share of downfalls, even such giants as eBay or Craig’s List. Mistakes are building blocks for success – by making mistakes, you learn what works, and what doesn’t. You don’t have to get it right, you just have to get it going. We all make mistakes, and one of the most powerful things you can do is glean feedback from them. Feedback is a great way to learn from your customers and colleagues. You need to look at feedback and take it with a grain of salt – it helps you learn and grow. See your mistakes as learning lessons

8. They model their business for success. Internet millionaires model other people, strategies, and systems. They constantly look for models of success in everyday life and think about how to incorporate these lessons into their own strategy. They even look at their competition for answers. Whatever niche you’re in, subscribe to some industry newsletters, buy their products, and learn HOW they create success.

9. They build a team to rely on. No matter what stage you are in with your business, you’ve got to realize that you simply cannot do it all. You can’t be an expert in everything. You want to create a great team of people. How can you find them? Go to seminars and workshops. Hone your networking skills. You’ll often find that like minded people that are out there constantly learning and attending, seminars and workshops. Getting rich is a team sport. You have to have people that are cheering you on, encouraging your success.

These are some inherent characteristics of business millionaires.

Can you apply them to your business and your life, too? Of course you can. If you can keep these principles in mind, you’ve got the millionaire mindset. No, you aren’t going to get there overnight. Making a million dollars takes some time. You can’t make a million dollars if you haven’t made your first hundred. So focus on the first hundred, first thousand, and first hundred thousand. Thinking this way goes a long way toward your goals – finding success, gaining riches, and living the kind of life you want to live.

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Building Self Esteem

10 Secrets For Success And Inner Peace

Success and inner peace tend to go hand in hand but you may find one before you find the other. Many people struggle early on in life to obtain success in their careers but find that they are extremely taxed and turn to practices and techniques for inner peace as they grow older. Others may throw themselves into spiritual practices when they are young but find that they really need to concentrate more on money and success as they get older. It doesn’t really matter which of these you choose to pursue in the beginning, you will eventually see the importance of both as you grow in wisdom and you will be interested in finding some tips or secrets that can help you to obtain them both. Here are ten secrets to help you find both success and inner peace in your life.

** Choose a career or course of study that actually interests you instead of what you think you are “supposed” to be. You will find more happiness and energy to pursue something you really love in life rather than something you think you are “supposed” to do and this will eventually bring both success and inner peace together.

** Choose your mate very carefully. This will be the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with! Falling in love is easy but staying in love is very hard. Make sure you are with the person you want to spend the rest of your life with before you go making a lot of promises you can’t keep.

** Take up some hobbies or self-improvements early in life so that you will grow into a person with a wide range of talents and abilities as you get older. Widen your horizons and you will find that life will come much easier to you as you grow.

** Avoid negative people and people with emotional problems unless you plan to be a therapist or professional healer. More than likely, a person with emotional problems will hurt you before you are able to “help” them. Kindness and good can go a long way but take care of yourself first and foremost.

** Depend on yourself before you depend on anyone else. You are the best person to trust of anyone you know and learning to depend on yourself will strengthen your character and assure you of having a great friend with you at all times!

** Find out what your weaknesses are and make an effort to overcome them. Everyone is born with some things that they aren’t so good at. Very few people are willing to admit this fact and try to do something about it. Facing your fears can make you a stronger person and someone who you can always depend on.

** Avoid getting stuck in a bad habit or even worse, and addictive personality. Putting your own spiritual growth at the center of your life will make it possible to avoid the pitfalls of drugs and alcohol and find inner peace much easier.

** Don’t expect yourself to be perfect. Mistakes and weaknesses are what makes you human and someone that people can love. If we all had this game figured out, we wouldn’t need each other and that would make for a very lonely time.

** Helping others is great but help yourself first. If you learn to help yourself without hurting others, you will become the person that others can look toward rather than the person that others take advantage of.

** Finally, exercise and meditation are two great ways to make good use of your spare time. With a healthy body and healthy mind, you will find success and inner peace right around the corner.